Fade in:
Ext Cave Entrance-Night
Harry Potter
Spfx: Thunder, lightning and high winds surround this cave entrance.
Harry Potter Years 1-7 Part 1 Gift Set Review
Harry Potter Years 1-7 Part 1 Gift Set Overview
Prepare for the Final Battle!Harry Potter Years 1 - 7: Part 1 Giftset includes:
Year 1 HARRY POTTER AND THE SORCERER’S STONE The magical adventure begins when Harry Potter is invited to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Languages & Subtitles: English & Español.
Year 2 HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS Cars fly, trees attack and a mysterious house-elf warns Harry of great danger as he returns for his second year. Languages: English & Español • Subtitles: English, Français & Español.
Year 3 HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN Harry must confront soul-sucking Dementors, outsmart a werewolf and learn the truth about the escaped prisoner of Azkaban – Sirius Black. Languages: English & Français (Dubbed in Quebec) • Subtitles: English, Français & Español.
Year 4 HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE Harry must overcome a deadly dragon, fierce water demons and an enchanted maze only to find himself in the cruel grasp of He Who Must Not Be Named. Languages: English & Español • Subtitles: English, Français & Español.
Year 5 HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX When few believe that Lord Voldemort has returned, Harry must secretly train his friends for the wizarding war ahead. Languages & Subtitles: English, Français (Dubbed in Quebec) & Español.
Year 6 HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE As Lord Voldemort tightens his grip on both Muggle and wizarding worlds, Harry and Dumbledore work to find the key to unlock Voldemort’s defenses. Languages & Subtitles: English, Français (Dubbed in Quebec) & Español.
Year 7 HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS - PART 1 Harry, Ron and Hermione set out to track down and destroy the secret to Voldemort’s power – the Horcruxes. On their own and on the run, the three must rely on one another more than ever…but Dark Forces threaten to tear them apart.
Available at Amazon Check Price Now!
*** Product Information and Prices Stored: Aug 01, 2011 11:44:11
Announcer (Gruff Voice)
In a world filled with dark doom and nefarious beasts with two heads...
Two sets of eyes appear in the darkness. Suddenly, a third set shows up.
Announcer Okay. Three heads...
Cut To:
Int. Castle Basement-Night The same storm can be seen straight through the windows as an Evil Sorcerer stands at a cauldron, mixing a bubbling, smoking potion.
Announcer
Where evil sorcerers mix deadly potions...
The sorcerer troops an eyedropper full of his potion to a lice-ridden rat.
Announcer
to radically change the human habitancy into...
There's a puff of smoke that clears to impart a good seeing gentleman in a gaudy tuxedo. Suddenly, a spotlight hits the gentleman. He picks up a microphone.
Announcer
Las Vegas lounge singers.
Spfx: Lightning and thunder crashes loudly.
Gentleman
(singing) Danke Shoen. Darling, Danke Shoen.
Announcer
Is there anyone who can stop the madness? Yes, there is.
But, only one man can do it. And that man is...
Spfx: Thunder and lightning crash again.
Cut to:
Close Up: Squinty-eyed man wearing round eyeglasses.
The camera pulls back to impart Dirty Harry Potter dressed in a wrinkled suit.
Announcer
Dirty Harry Potter.
Cut to:
Ext Street-Day Harry has cornered a lounge singer and has him standing against the wall. Harry is pointing a broomstick at him.
Harry
So, are you feeling lucky, punk?
A spotlight encircles the man. He picks up a microphone from out of nowhere and begins singing.
Lounge Singer
(singing) Luck be a lady tonight. Luck be a lady tonight.
Cut to:
Int. Hogwart's Professor's Office-Day
A Hogwart professor stands behind his desk. Harry stands opposite him.
Professor
Potter, I'm taking you off this case. You can't just go nearby and eliminate anyone you damn well please.
Harry
Professor, it was a case of mistaken identity.
Professor
Mistaken identity? How can you mistake this for a lounge singer?
The professor holds up a photograph of Wayne Newton.
Professor
Thanks to you, the world will never be able to hear "Daddy, Don't You Walk So Fast" again.
Harry hangs his head in shame.
Announcer
There's danger as Harry comes face to face with the evil sorcerer.
Cut to:
Int. Cave-Night
Harry has his broomstick pointed at the evil sorcerer.
Harry
This is a Smith and Wesson Hogwart Special. It holds four thousand sparks of deadly destruction.
So, you've got to ask yourself. Was that three thousand or four thousand deadly sparks he released when he came in here? Announcer
There's excitement as Harry infiltrates the Las Vegas lounge scene.
Cut to:
Int. Casino Lounge-Night
Harry is on stage, dressed in a pink tuxedo. He's singing, but in his Dirty Harry voice.
Harry (singing) You're having my baby. What a lovely way of saying how much you love me.
Announcer
There's romance as Harry and his fellow Hogwart graduate, Cynthia, finally fall in love.
Cut to:
Ext Park-Day
Harry and Cynthia, a pixyish blonde, are in an embrace.
Cynthia
Hmmm. Harry, is that your broomstick, or are you just happy to see me?
Announcer
And, of course, there's action.
Cut to:
Ext Street-Night
Harry lays on his back as he tries to shoot an onslaught of lounge singers who walk towards him, in a "Night of the Living Dead" trance.
Harry
Damn, I'm out of deadly sparks.
Cut to:
Ext Cave-Night
Back to lightning, thunder and high winds.
Announcer
See Dirty Harry Potter And The Lounge Lizards, starring Johnny Depp as Dirty Harry Potter, in his most unusual role since playing both Pigeon Sisters in The Odd Couple. Dirty Harry Potter, coming next Succoth. Do all you can to avoid it when it disgraces a theater near you. Void where prohibited by law; batteries not included; refrigerate after opening; if swelling appears, stop use.
Cut to:
Int. Hotel Room-Day
Harry reloads his broomstick. There's a knock on the door.
Maid (O.S.)
Housekeeping.
Harry
Come in.
An elderly maid enters carrying a set of sheets.
Cut to:
Close up: Harry's Face
Harry
Go ahead. Make my bed.
Cut to black.
The End
Dirty Harry Potter